Category Archives: my limerick

Election Night Prediction

The world as we know it will end,
No matter the outcome, my friend.
If Boehner gets in,
The rich guys will win—
But just for two years, I contend.

 
© 2010 by Magical Mystical Teacher

It’s Time to Unwind

This day has been too exciting,
With students shoving and fighting;
It’s time to unwind
And pamper my mind—
Boredom sounds, oh, so inviting!

 
© 2010 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Shadow Shot Sunday: Once Splendid


 

This throne that you see was once splendid,
But now it demands to be mended;
It’s covered with scum
And any bare bum
Would doubtless be highly offended.

 
© 2010 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
Photo taken in Seattle on Bill Speidel’s Underground Tour.
 
For more Shadow Shots, click here.

 

Recalcitrant Student

Because he did not want to learn,
His lessons the student did spurn.
He cast sidelong looks
At all of his books—
His homework he tossed in an urn.

© 2010 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Mellow Yellow Monday: Coffee


 

 

A jolt of strong coffee, indeed,
It’s all that you’ll ever need
To do things just right
By day or by night—
It’s better than doses of speed!

 
© 2010 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
Photo taken at the waterfront, Nanaimo, British Columbia
 
For more Mellow Yellow photos, click here.

Thanksgiving Break Begins

The kids would not wait for the bell;
They weren’t going to work, I could tell.
They jumped at the chance
To jabber and dance—
’Most all of them raised holy hell!

© 2009 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Tired Teacher’s Threnody

As holiday time comes around,
I’m keeping my ear to the ground,
Still hoping my muse
Will whisper some news
Of where inspiration is found.

© 2009 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Merit Pay for All

The president has this to say:
“All teachers should get merit pay.
Their checks will be more
If their students score
At top of the curve on test day.”

 
© 2009 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
Thus speaks the president. To read what many teachers think about merit pay, click here.

NCLB Strikes Again

Tuesday I received an e-mail from the district’s curriculum coordinator:

NCLB requires all schools to have 100% of their teachers highly qualified. [The superintendent], each building principal, and myself will be meeting individually with each non-highly qualified teacher to set up a Highly Qualified Individual Teacher Corrective Action Plan.

You are on the … list as currently being not highly qualified or teaching out of your area of certification. Please bring your certificates, endorsement areas, evaluation plans, documentation of tests or coursework, and any other information to a mandatory meeting this Thursday, September 24th @ 3:30 pm in the District Board Room. We will be supporting your continued efforts to become highly qualified. Thanks for your attention to this very important matter.

I assumed that teachers were scheduled for specific times. That was a bad assumption. Every teacher who received this e-mail was told to report at 3:30 p.m. So, of course, everyone showed up at the same time. Two hours later, I was finally admitted into the august presence of the district administrators.

A conference phone call to the state’s “NCLB expert” resulted in my learning exactly what is required of me to become highly qualified to teach language arts to seventh- and eighth-graders. (I’m already highly qualified to teach sixth-graders.) If I can produce—which I can—transcripts proving that I have at least 24 semester hours of English credits, I will receive an endorsement to teach middle school language arts.

The state department of education has wavered back and forth since January about my highly qualified status. One week they say I am highly qualified, and the next week they say that I’m not. I have wasted countless hours talking with or e-mailing state officials—and worrying that my job was in jeopardy.

I hope today’s word from the state department of education is the definitive word. I’m tired of having to jump through hoops. I have no charitable feelings toward No Child Left Behind:

Draconian NCLB,
Why don’t you go jump in the sea?
Just leave me alone!
No one could have known
How much you would aggravate me!

© 2009 by Magical Mystical Teacher

When Things Fall Apart

When things fall apart, take a rest.
(Or else risk becoming a pest.)
Relax and kick back.
Your jaw? Let it slack,
And your day will truly be blessed.

© 2009 by Magical Mystical Teacher

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