1st Tuesday in Advent

Moaning

I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.
Psalm 6:6, RSV

Unlike the person who wrote Psalm 6, I’m not weary with my own moaning. I’m weary of listening to someone else’s moaning.

The young third-year teacher across the hall complains a lot. He comes into my classroom during my lunch break and recites a litany of grievances against his job. “I’m going to be honest with you,” he says. “I don’t want to be here today.”

I listen politely, saying little. He continues.

“I can’t wait for this day to be over,” he says. “I just want to go home.”

Almost daily he tells me how much he doesn’t want to be here, how much the kids annoy him, how low-functioning they are, and how he tells them to shut up and get to work.

Sometimes I think I should take this young teacher aside and ask him, gently, “Why did you go into teaching? The kids seem to irritate you. Have you considered another career?”

But then I realize that he doesn’t want me to say anything, especially anything that will call his career choice into question. All he wants from me is a listening ear, and as long as I keep listening, he’ll keep complaining.

Finally, I weary of the daily gripe-fest. I slip out of my classroom and find another place to eat my lunch. Sometimes I even run home for a quick bite to eat, because eating alone is better than being subjected to a constant barrage of negativity.

In one of his letters to one of the churches, St. Paul writes (in venerable King James English): “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.”

It’s easy to make the connection between “filthy communication” and four-letter Anglo-Saxon words. Yet I think “filthy communication” also includes the negative things we say about others or our situation: “I can’t stand that kid” or “I don’t want to be here today” or “I hate my job.”

Advent is a time when people of faith cultivate hope and joy and peace. Negative thoughts and feelings—and speech—can crowd out hope and joy and peace, leaving me feeling empty and distressed.

So here’s my Advent aim: to moan less, to listen to less moaning from others, and to find ways to turn “filthy communication” into words of hope and joy and peace.

Posted on November 30, 2010, in Advent, collegiality, listening, teaching. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. That’s a good goal to aim for. I’ll try moan less. 😉

    Paz

  2. I wonder if his moaning to you makes him better in the classroom–once he gets it off his chest?

    Are you following something for your advent scriptures? If so, would you mind sharing what it is? I would love to do this.

  3. Thank you! I’m going to start using it!

  4. I had a colleague like that. He’d say in mournful tones as soon as he entered “I want to go home!”
    Moaning is contagious, while positive thinking and comments are definitely the antidote. Happy Advent :O)

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