Six-Word Whirl

 photo 125_zps2436335a.jpg
 


Sometimes paradise
is defaced with rusty stains
that God can’t scrub out.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
in the garden pool
abundant summer magic
ten thousand tadpoles
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
Sometimes paradise
is the heart of God breaking—
only three pieces.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
in the garden pool
little ripples of intrigue
the minnows flashing
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
Sometimes paradise
is Christ clang-clanging a bell,
keeping us from sleep.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
In the garden pool
a bullfrog finds the answer
to the sizzling heat.

Text © 2013 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
More The Sunday Whirl, Wordle 125
 
More Carpe Diem: “Southard’s ‘In the Garden Pool'”
 
More Postcards from Paradise at Recuerda Mi Corazon

Posted on September 8, 2013, in Carpe Diem, haiku, O. Mabson Southard, Postcards from Paradise, Recuerda Mi Corazon, senryu, The Sunday Whirl and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.

  1. The phrases you repeat drive this piece beautifully, and provide rhythm. From rusty stains to three pieces, and clang-clanging the rest of your phrasing is fantastic. I love every line.

  2. i hope i find the answer….
    certainly i found paradise in the brilliance of YOU!

  3. God does have a great sense of humor and fun times in Paradise!! 😉 The tadpoles and bullfrog ones are excellent!! Applause!!

  4. i like the semblance of call and response in this haiku sequence; have a good Sunday

    much love…

  5. Just love the last one…so comforting…only find the pool

  6. Amazing haiku. LOVE these.

  7. You may have outdone yourself with this. Those first two are quite moving in very different ways.

  8. Well done, mmt, but the first rings of complete truth.

    Pamela

  9. Nicely whirled! I had rusty stains in my head when I was writing too. You’ve managed to place them beautifully but mine stayed on the cutting room floor.

  10. You certainly had a lot of fun in paradise and the pool today. However my favorite were those minnows flashing!

  11. In the garden pool sometimes we find God, just waiting to talk to us. He talked with you today. SO nice to see that your wonderful is alive with love. Thanks for stopping by my place. xo Teri

  12. I love the tadpoles and bullfrogs in the garden pool! Very nice!

  13. Those flashing minnows definitely grab my attention!

    Releasing the Moon

  14. That is a beautiful set… Different images created.

  15. Love the last haiku — the image is so very evocative.

  16. I like the last one best. Thanks for sharing!

  17. The gems of these haiku are like an exquisite necklace… love both tadpoles and bullfrogs

  18. wow, this was a nice set – especially liked the minnows flashing. always love to see small fishes in pond settings.

  19. Yes, a beautiful poem, I like it!

  20. I’d like to re-post one of these haiku in my Haiku Review tomorrow morning. I love it so much. Write me back with any biographical info you’d like me to include–otherwise, I’ll just include a link back here.

  1. Pingback: Humpday Haiku Review #2 | michaelalexanderchaney

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