Half a Whirl Is Better than None

May 27

Posted by

Banner
 
The first line of each haiku or senryu below is taken from “The Hotel Normandie Pool” by Derek Walcott.
 
This week’s whirling words are: scrape, tongue, brittle, austere, barnacles, drenched, chalk, flinty, blur, burnished, cocoon, rough
 
 


Around the cold pool
little groups of drenched children
huddle, shivering.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
Now my pen’s shadow
emerges from the cocoon,
takes flight, vanishes.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
To a frowning sun
I sing brittle little songs
and watch them shatter.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
The poems gather,
golden rivers on my tongue—
honey, milk and thyme.
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
one mango flower
burnished with afternoon sun—
we burst into flame
 
~~ ~~ ~~
 
A cloud fills my hand,
a little blur of moisture
sweet as mango juice.

 
© 2012 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
 
More The Sunday Whirl, Wordle 58
 
More The Poetry Pantry #100

Posted on May 27, 2012, in haiku, senryu, The Poetry Pantry, The Sunday Whirl. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Mary | May 27, 2012 at 6:42 am

    All very nice! This is my favorite of this set:

    The poems gather,
    golden rivers on my tongue—
    honey, milk and thyme.

    Reply
  2. Laurie Kolp | May 27, 2012 at 6:59 am

    Enjoyed these… I especially like the third one.

    Reply
  3. Traci B | May 27, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Wonderful blending of poem and wordle words. Terrific choice of poem to “steal” lines from; I’ll have to go read the original.

    Reply
  4. brenda w | May 27, 2012 at 7:21 am

    I love the pen’s shadow…. all of them are gems, again. I bow in your general direction, oh mistress of short form. 😉

    Reply
  5. Cheryl's Excellent Adventure | May 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

    I think it’s really cool how you take lines from a poem and turn it into a haiku that uses the wordle words. Your adeptness amazes me.

    Reply
  6. Mr. Walker | May 27, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I like the pen’s shadow and mango flower poems – beautiful.

    Richard

    Reply
  7. julespaige | May 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    To a frowning sun
    I sing brittle little songs
    and watch them shatter.

    This reminds me of frosted breath in winter. Lovely all of them really. Looking forward to the next set. May I offer:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/lasting-last-laughs-sunday-whirl-58.html

    Reply
  8. Mariya Koleva | May 28, 2012 at 4:31 am

    Your haiku left a very sweet taste in me 🙂 And a very sunny feel, although it is a particularly hard-raining day in my neck of the woods.
    Best, M.

    Reply
  9. Pamela Smyk Cleary | May 28, 2012 at 11:46 am

    What an interesting & challenging twist with lovely results! 🙂

    Reply
  10. tmhHoover | May 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    I am with Jules – the idea of a brittle little song caught my fancy. These are wonderful as always!

    Reply
  11. Sharp Little Pencil | May 28, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    The final two mango poems were so amazing. The mango flower in the sun, “we burst into flame.” That’s some writing, excellent imagery! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/05/28/military-schooling-the-sunday-whirl/

    Reply
  12. margo roby | May 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Now my pen’s shadow
    emerges from the cocoon,
    takes flight, vanishes.

    Describes well how trying to capture something in words can be.

    Reply
  13. magnolia | May 30, 2012 at 9:41 am

    delicious
    appetite stimulus
    gather wood words
    build a bonfire

    great job

    Reply

Please Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.