Category Archives: light verse

A Crow and a Hoe


A crow that I once knew named Joe
Fell madly in love with a hoe.
A rake wouldn’t do;
Past shovels he flew—
Joe just couldn’t dig ‘em, ya know?

 
Limerick © 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Which Is Better


Which is better for my vat—
Eye of hurricane, or gnat?
One is better for a curse,
While the other one is worse.
Which one shall I add and mix
To produce the vilest tricks?
If it’s hurricane, I’m sure
Everything will be a blur.
But a gnat would add some spice,
Which, I think, would be quite nice.
So I ponder on this heath
As I wail and gnash my teeth:
Which is better for my vat—
Eye of hurricane, or gnat?

 
Poem © 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Jim


Somewhere is better than nowhere, grinning is better than grim;
Bourbon is better than bibles, but nothing is better than Jim.
He’s the old guy with the bedroll, who’s had a hard knock or two;
He sleeps in a rusty wheelbarrow, parked every night at the zoo.
Jim hasn’t a care in the world, though ashes cover his beard,
And all the grownups who cross his path think he’s completely weird.
But children think Jim’s a wonder—he teaches them letters and sums,
And never asks for a penny, and lets them pound on his drums!
The children all think that Jim’s tale is something that ought to be told,
So here’s to all the Jims of the world, who cannot be bought or sold!

 
 
Poem © 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
 
More The Whirligig #290
 
More Writers’ Pantry #44 at Poets and Storytellers United

 

What Is the Price?


What is the price of a bucket of rice
Found in the market at dawn?
If you don’t pay it—how shall I say it?—
You will be sad when it’s gone.
 
What is the cost of a salad that’s tossed,
And dressed, and ready to eat?
You think it tastes good? Then I think you should
Crunch it along with your meat.
 
How much will you pay for a bale of hay
To feed to your sheep and goats?
Remember, my dear, as winter draws near,
That horses are fond of oats.
 
The price that you pay, I think I should say,
Is what something’s worth to you;
So open your purse, things could be much worse,
And pay for your Starbucks brew!


 
Poem © 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Ditty on the Cusp of October


Tenth Month comes, and none too soon;
Ninth Month shrivels like a prune.
Of the “-ber months” I can say:
Oct’s the best in every way!


 
Poem © by Magical Mystical Teacher

Phoenix, Arizona


Phoenix, Arizona keeps burning, and the heat
Is brutal on the brains, and murder on bare feet.
(It’s slightly less oppressive from midnight until dawn.)
God help us all, and keep us, till summer’s heat is gone!


 
Poem © by Magical Mystical Teacher

Flee From the Kitchen


Flee from the kitchen, live on the porch;
August is glowing hot as a torch.
Cover yourself with rags or with strips,
Drink from a bucket, smacking your lips.
Dream of crisp apples, cinnamon toast,
A knife too dull to carve Sunday’s roast.
As the Earth turns and takes you along,
Make up a ditty, sing a new song!

 
 
Poem © 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
 
More The Whirligig #280
 
More Writers’ Pantry #34 at Poets and Storytellers United

 

A Swallow Screams for Dinner


A swallow screams for dinner,
But no one hears its plaint,
Even though it’s desperate
And about to faint.
 
So scream no more, dear swallow,
Though ravenous you be,
For you’re really all alone
In your misery.


 
 
© 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher

I Am Explaining a Few Things


What I’m about to tell you may seem to make no sense,
So you may need to lean yourself against a good, stout fence.
 
Take a breath, a deep one; slowly, slowly close your eyes,
Then whatever leaves my lips will come as no surprise.
 
If sticks and stones should break your bones, do not reject the pain.
Embrace it as you would a friend—you have a lot to gain.
 
If Rosie and her rings come singing death chants at your door,
Fling some ashes in her face, and shout, “Begone, you whore!”
 
Last, if Mother Goose shows up with her flock of geese,
Greet them with some heartfelt words: “Welcome, Mother. Peace!”

 
 
© 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher

Four Aphorisms for a Time of Plague


1
Unforeseen disasters wait
Just outside the garden gate
 
2
Pity those who lose their smiles
On the heartless COVID miles.
 
3
Comfort for tormented eyes
Is what doctors all advise.
 
4
If you let your lungs get wet,
You may drown in deep regret.

 
 
Rhyming couplets © 2020 by Magical Mystical Teacher
 
 
More The Whirligig #277
 
More Writers’ Pantry #31 at Poets and Storytellers United